Hubby and I were watching a particularly heated episode of The Block. One contestant was angry things weren’t going to plan and was shouting at another. He seemed to have a tendency to not take responsibility for his actions, talk down to others and expect everyone else to accommodate his needs over their own. Hubby turns to me and says “do you think people are born douches or become them?” Good question!
The nature versus nurture debate has been going on forever. I’m no psychologist but raising tiny humans has opened my eyes to a thing or two and here’s my take…we are all born douches.
Now before you assume my kids are little monsters, they are not, they are lovely people. My 3 year old is sharing and considerate and kind. But was he born that way? No. He was born a baby. Haha I kid you not. And babies are, well, douches.
Babies have a lot of needs, and they expect you to meet them. They are not considerate. Their baby-brain does not think ‘mom is tired maybe I should sleep through the night instead of waking every hour’. Nope. Their needs are the only thing that enters their mind. Babies are not sharing. You will never see a baby unlatch from a breastfeed to offer some milk around. That’s theirs. They have no empathy. You won’t see a baby stop shouting for a snack because they feel bad mom hasn’t eaten all day, if mom’s a crying mess on the floor they don’t think ‘shame maybe I should give her a break’. And that’s the other thing. They have no problem screaming at whoever will listen to get their way. But that’s just being a baby and we accept this.
So this is what leads me to the thought that just maybe we are all born douches. Over time we learn to share. We learn to think of others. We learn to stop shouting and use our words. And some of us don’t. Some of us are just big babies throwing a tantrum because we didn’t get our own way.
So the next time your kid is lying on the floor screaming because their banana isn’t blue, try picture them as a grown adult lying on the floor doing the same thing, take a deep breath, and remember you’re helping them grow out of being a douch.